A Dream Prepares Lynn for the Reality

I was diagnosed with MS in the summer of 1985, although I had already experienced some daunting symptoms in the years previous. My balance proved to be faltering during a Frances Schaeffer Christian School Conference in the early 80’s. When we were asked to bow our heads and pray, I commenced to fall.

Then in that summer of ‘85 my legs started to feel like they had weights tied around them as I would ascend my three flights of stairs in our home in Placentia, CA. My husband and I were called to minister at Forest Home Family Camp that summer. He as the camp doctor and me as the special music. At this point, symptoms had subsided slightly, but the neurologist still gave me a tentative diagnosis of MS. Aside from memory block a few times that week I was feeling quite well.

One afternoon I climbed up my favorite rock to pray, but midway through the prayer I fell asleep. In my dream I was in a wheelchair, singing, with my hands raised in praise to God. When I awoke, I was at first troubled that I was in a wheelchair, then dumbfounded that I could be singing praises to God. Before long I was enveloped in a deep peace of mind as I felt God’s presence saying, “In whatever condition you are, I will use you.” Those words would prove to be extremely comforting in the years to come.

Twenty- three years later, I am in a wheelchair most of the time and I have found that Christ’s strength is sufficient to see me through any situation He has challenged me with. (II Cor. 12:9). I co-produced one CD and performed on another. I was asked to be the special music and speaker for CASA Senior Conference in Murrieta Springs the fall of 2004 and I now co-lead worship for our church’s Tues. Morning Bible Study.

In our Psalms of Ascent study, we have learned that to be “up” is “down.” I Peter 5:6 relates that if we humble ourselves before God He will lift us up in due time. Yes, it troubles some pastors and music ministers that I can’t “stand” and sing. Somehow, they are worried that I won’t have enough breath support.

Ironically, my voice has never been stronger. I have fallen more in love with my Savior than I ever thought possible because He has proved so very faithful.

My prayer is that more and more churches will realize that possibly the least desirable-looking servant can minister the greatest. Doesn’t God use the foolish to confound the wise? Our Tuesday morning worship team often sings a beautiful praise song by Lenny LeBlanc and Greg Gulley entitled “No Higher Calling.”

It is my prayer song: “Down at Your feet, O Lord, is the most high place; In Your presence, Lord, we seek Your face. There is no higher calling, no greater honor than to bow and kneel before Your throne. I’m amazed at Your glory, embraced by Your mercy. O Lord, I live to worship You.”

Lynn has had MS for 23 years, but still sings and leads worship at her church in Fullerton, CA. With the help of a supportive husband and physical trainer, she manages to keep up a large home and even, tend to 4 grandkids and even ride horseback from time to time. Truly, God is very faithful.

 

Is life overcoming you…or are you overcoming life?

That was a question that seemed like a no brain-er to answer many years ago. You see, I was one of the most conceited, arrogant, self-centered girls there were. It was all about me, me and me. I was convinced the earth and everything in it, revolved around me. My physical image and material things meant everything to me. I elevated myself on a pedestal, knowing I was the best thing since sliced bread. So yes…you can say I thought I was overcoming life – no problem.

But I would soon find out that the life I thought was reality and what was actually real, were two entirely different things. It was a merciful awakening! It was a severe mercy! But it most definitely was not either of those things when the crisis hit.

My world, my false perception of the perfect world, was falling apart. All I could think at the time was that God (who I didn’t give the time of day to) had let me down. “What did I do to deserve this?”, “Why me?” Again…everything was “me” focused.

I was diagnosed with a rare muscle disease (Muscular Dystrophy), which severely limits me physically. It’s ironic, I used to worship my body - my physical appearance was what identified me. After eight years with this chronic disease, I’ve gotten to know my Creator. He has given me the gift of time (while I am disability), and has allowed me to draw close to Him and learn.

It’s as though a veil was lifted from my eyes and now I can see so much clearer. I have an entirely new perspective. My life has radically changed. Things that used to be important to me are now of little significance, and vice versa. I can see God work through this illness by giving me the privilege of comforting others - only because of the comfort He has given me.

It’s frustrating having this muscle disease, but it means everything to me to know that I have a Savior, and He lives. He is a very present help in my time of need. It also helps to know that Jesus is a Man of Sorrows, and he understands what it’s like to be one of us with all of this craziness happening to our bodies (and our souls). He learned obedience from His suffering. We just need to keep reminding ourselves that God has a great plan for us, and we need (I need) to meditate on Romans 8:28…”God works ALL things out for the good of those that love Him and who are called according to His purpose.”

So now I can confidently say, that because with God, I can overcome anything!

Lori Laws is overcoming Muscular Dystrophy. She lives in Bethlehem, PA with her husband Michael. Her passion is to share her life experiences to let people know where hope truly comes from. People may contact me via email

 

A New Friend Shares How Rest Ministries Helped Her Follow Her Dreams

It came in the mail. HopeKeepers Magazine. I don’t ever remember requesting it… It just showed up a few weeks ago. At first glance I thought maybe it was the female version of the “Promise Keepers” men’s ministry magazine. I had been feeling distant from the Lord–several weeks of relentless pain and finally depression had left me undone.

I remember thinking to my self, “The last thing I want to read is a spiritual magazine, full of religious jargon and Sunday School answers for my non-spiritual condition!” Ever been there? For some reason (hmmmm-maybe the Holy Spirit?) I didn’t throw it in the trash and instead threw it in the top drawer of my nightstand.

Over the weekend I would see the magazine there and ignore it. Then once, when I opened the drawer, I read the words, “Joyfully serving the chronically ill”. I pulled it out and read the story lines on the cover and then put it on top of my night stand. “Maybe I’ll glance through it later,” I thought.

Monday came and I was feeling a bit better, “Aaah a light at the end of the tunnel!” I grabbed the magazine that had seemed to be calling me for days. I read it’s title again, “HopeKeepers”! I could hardly put it down! And, accept to access the sites referred to in it, I didn’t. I read from cover to cover right then. I laughed and cried and rejoiced. Finally! Finally! Someone “Gets Me”!!

For a couple of weeks after that I pretty much lived in The SunRoom/Rest Ministries On-line Network! I never knew communities existed like this. I had never heard of “Networks”. But, I set up my own page and then wrote back and forth to some of the most intelegent, faithful, courageous people in the whole world. They sooo blessed and encouraged me! I found more similarities than differences with these precious people. A common thread of compassion. HOPE! I began to feel stronger!

And, I kept wondering, “What would happen if I clicked on that link that said Create your own social network”.

Go back with me to about four years ago when I had a Pain Management Counselor who suggested I should check out Life Coaching. Her reason? Because, “You would be so good encouraging people with Chronic Pain, Kimberly…yadayadayada!”. I’m so ashamed to tell you my resonse. But I’m going to tell you as it really was. What I recall doing and saying in response to her “suggestion” was to cross my eyes at her and saying the last thing I want to do was to “talk to whiny, chronically sick people all day long!” Ugh!

So, back to more recently. One day, a couple of weeks ago, I went ahead and clicked on the “create your own Ning network” link. God has such a funny sense of humour. I had absolutely NO IDEA what I was getting myself into. A few years back I started a blog, theORGANICgeek, that I had the hardest time figuring out how to manage. I posted in it twice, decided it was too complicated, and stopped. But, there I was creating a network! And when I prayed about what it should be called…hahaha…

I slowly typed out “Living Whole with Chronic Pain.”I

I knew immediately that it was to be a community that would encourage one another in ways to live Organically, Healthy, and Holistically - in spite of chronic pain/illness.

Since, I have had more fun then I ever could have imagined. I’ve learned more than I knew I could, and together, with God, I am co-creating a network that encourages the exact people my counselor had suggested I encourage. Go figure! I am challenged everyday, and although I’ve made a bunch of mistakes, I’ve learned it is a process, and God stands in the Gap and makes it work! He is so Faithful and an ever present help in our time of need!

I return to the Sun Room every morning! And “Living Whole” features Lisa Copen’s writings by RSS feed. When I can figure out how to do it … I’d like to have the Daily Devotions featured on the network as well.

 I am so grateful. Grateful for a little magazine that somehow, some way, showed up in my mailbox as an UNEXPECTED TREASURE!

Thank You, Lisa, and everyone at HopeKeepers!

 

How Does God Use Your Illness? Ann Shares

I am fifty-two years old, married with a grown son who lives at home, and a very neurotic nine-year-old cat. I have struggled with anxiety and depression since my early teens years, going years without medication, trying to prove I didn’t need it. Finally, a family doctor prescribed Paxil back in the nineties for me. I developed asthma in 1997, becoming very ill.

 

This was the beginning of my re-evaluation of my relationship with the Lord. Lying flat on my back in my bed, I wondered “Why Lord?” The answer was very clear: “Because this is the only way I can get you to submit to Me.”

 

Despite this set back in my health, I enjoyed my career as a corrections counselor. I am intensely interested in other people and what makes them tick. My job was the perfect vehicle for witnessing to hurting people. If a client opened the door, I walked through it.

 

In late 2002, I began to experience some balance, memory, and fatigue problems, which in turn, worsened my anxiety. By the spring of 2003, the stress of trying to hold on to my job, had become too much. One day I found myself looking at my computer screen, unable to understand the document I was viewing.

 

The next eight months were spent trying to pin down a diagnosis. By January of 2004, I had one: multiple sclerosis. With medication, my flare-ups were fairly well controlled, and I realized I was blessed to have the relapse-remitting type of MS.

 

In the summer of 2006, I discovered Rest Ministries. Myself and several other people from my church were trying to start a support group for the chronically ill. I ordered some materials from Rest Ministries, and the group was off and running. Another piece of the puzzle came together when in December of 2007 I was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder.

 

The symptoms are now well controlled by medication. My illnesses and struggles have truly brought me closer to my Lord, and back to Rest Ministries. I have found information on this site to be very helpful to me personally. I also have used this site as a resource shared among the members of the support group.

 

The Lord has truly brought me through the fire, and when I read what others have written in the Sunroom forums, I know I’m in the right place. May He use the knowledge I have gained to His Glory, and to bring other to the Living Water.

 

It’s a Quake, Kristy Shares Her Story

It’s A Quake, for Goodness Sake

Although there is nothing funny about the dangers of an earthquake or the challenges of Parkinson’s Disease, the Lord did provided a rare opportunity for some giggles in the midst of them both recently. At precisely 4:36 a.m. on April 18th, my husband and I were awakened in our home near St. Louis by a rumbling, shaking motion.

Earthquakes are not common in this area, especially at the level of 5.4 on the Richter scale. So with surprise, Randy nudged me and stated “That was a tremor!” at which I responded ” Well, it wasn’t me!”

We both started laughing and began a dialogue of one-liners that would rival the old comedy routines of George Burns and Gracie Allen.
Randy: “That tremor woke me up”
Kristy: “Maybe, but this time it wasn’t my “fault.”
Randy: “That really “shook” me up!”
Kristy: “I know the feeling!”

And so on… Many of us have felt powerless to control our bodies or our circumstances at times in this uncertain journey. I have discovered that laughing is not only good medicine, as Proverbs 17:22 proclaims, but is also very empowering. Ask the Lord to help you find something to laugh about in the midst of your illness. Like the buckling of the earth’s crust, sometimes it’s necessary to “crack up” and chuckle!

Kristy Howell is a Biblical teacher and counselor at her church in Maryland Heights, MO. Besides being a mother of 4 & grandmother of one, she is married to her junior high sweetheart, Randy, who is an E.R. physician. Diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease 9 years ago, she is grateful to the Lord for His grace to live and laugh in spite of it all.

 

 

Jolene Shares How Her Pain Ministry Came to Be

My name is Jolene. I am a mother of five children– three at home. Last year changed my life. I was diagnosed with Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome, a diagnosis of which there is no cure and is described as burning constant pain.

 

I woke up one morning with my foot swelled and down it went from there. I started researching all this on the internet, and of course didn’t realize that I was filling my mind with negative information. Yes awareness is good, but I didn’t realize how important encouragement, support, and prayer was until this happened.

 

I started getting really sick lost a lot of weight, ached all over, and couldn’t walk. Depression and severe anxiety set in. The first doctor I went to about the aching and not being able to walk sent me back to my primary physician and would not treat me for arthritis.

 

This led to a lot of frustration, and I ended up suffering a nervous breakdown, believing I would never walk again. I couldn’t even stand to take a shower. I started medications for the depression and the anxiety, as I couldn’t sleep due to the pain. I refused pain meds, as the Lord had brought me through alcohol and drug recovery going on eighteen years now.

 

Praise God for my family, my church family, and my pastor as they prayed and helped my husband take care of my children. I came home one month later much more emotionally able to handle the pain and the every day battle that chronic pain brings. I was led to a new rheumatologist who ran tests on me and came to the conclusion I have either rheumatoid arthritis or psoratic arthritis.

 

I had never met a kinder loving person, and later found out he is a cChristian. Within the last seven weeks I was started on meds for the rheumatoid arthritis, and am not –get this—WALKING! Without a cane, without a walker, I am able to take a shower now, cook, and wow. . . I just can’t express what I am able to do.

 

I do not take this lightly. God has given me back some of my life. I get up in the morning and I thank God for his grace and His healing. I take time now to smell the roses and enjoy the little things He has given to me and my family. I no longer worry about what other people are doing, I have no anger and no bitterness and I have decided to dedicate the rest of my life serving him totally through ministry with people in pain and emotional suffering.

 

Before all this happened I had a lot of emotional issues that were showing in my Christian walk. One was unforgiveness and bitterness. God has healed me emotionally in ways I cannot even express. I was brought to Rest Ministries and I praise god as He has given me Christian brothers and sisters who love and care for me, and I am able to minister with a clean heart as well.

 

My life is now more fulfilling as God has brought me new awareness of others and what they go through. I have good and bad days, but find time to laugh and enjoy life. God has also led me to start a web forum (it’s really God’s forum) its called Peace in Pain because I have found that no matter what I go through He is with me every step of the way and will never leave me.

 

One of my favorite verses is Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

 

What more can I say?  This verse describes what He has done for me.

 

Visit Jolene’s web site ministry at www.peaceinpain.com

 

My Story: Sheila Shares How Friendships Have Made a Difference

My name is Sheila and I turned 50 in November of this year and am so happy to of made it to this great turning point–and that is truthful. It wasn’t so about a year ago when I was once again facing major surgery for damage caused by having Chiari Malformation. I have this disorder of the brain where my brain is l too big for my skull and it spills into my spine.

This disorder is formed during birth, but usualy the syptoms don’t appear until later in life. It was first discovered in the late 1800’s and more people are diagnoised than muscular dystrophy, but less is known about this disorder because it is still considered rare.

That is fustrating because as thousands of us know it’s not true, hundreds are diagnoised per day because it was once bunched together with chronic fatigue syndrome and other diseases.

This is were the anger and lonliness come in. . . because for years we have been pushed from one diagnosis to another and sometimes labled as just plain crazy.

So by the time you are diagnoised you don’t have the luxury of being happy they found the answer because now you are faced with a major surgery.

We’ve become know as “zipperheads” because the surgery requires one’s skull to be drilled into and a long scar is opened down the back of your skull to make room for the brain. Many of us we have to have several surgeries and sometimes we wish it were a zipper instead of having our skulls drilled open more than once!

The greatest gift I have had is the fellowship that has come out of being in a rare network of people and I found them at a very dark point in my life. I truly believe it was my Father “God,” my loving father, who once again knew I needed help, who led me to the internet where I found others like me and this website!

What a better place [Rest Ministries is] to be than a website for others who feel invisible and crazy because our syptoms do not show on the outside.

Some of us face other problems too. Last year after having the surgery to correct the Chairi in San Diego, Ca I moved to Virginia Beach beach for finacial reasons. Then I faced Cervical correction surgery in 2007 where they had to remove 4 cervical discs and bond with a bone from my hip and a 4 inch titanium plate placed to stabilize the spine. This surgery was actualy harder for me than the brain surgery and I had also lost my large support group with the move to the East Coast so it was a very lonely, dificult time for myself and my family.

I am now dealing with problems of having my whole life change once again and trying to get back some kind of life and deal with things I can no longer do like driving and having to depend on others to help me. That has been a humbling experience, especialy sense I prided myself on my independence. Having to ask for help is very difficlult.

I feel like such a burden to others at times and still am struggling with that issue daily. But with the help of God and others I am no longer alone and I look forward to being alive [rather than] wishing I had not made it.

There are still dark times — but the are fleeting because of people like you all who daily help me with your written words and inspiration and encouragemnts truly heartfelt.

Thank you for your help and freindships on this journey I now face. I am truly at peace.

Sheila D., 50 year old mother of 4 daughters ages 30, 29, 15, and 11 and grandmother to two boys and two girls and wife to a loving supportive husband Bob we now live in Virginia Beach, VA with our loving families close by.

 

Lynn Finds God’s Faithfulness Despite MS

I was diagnosed with MS in the summer of 1985, although I had experienced some daunting symptoms in the years previous. My balance proved to be faltering during a Frances Schaeffer Christian School Conference in the early eighties. And when we were asked to bow our heads and pray, I commenced to fall.

 

During that summer, in 1985, my legs started to feel like they had weights tied around them as I would ascend my three flights of stairs in our home in Placentia, CA.

 

My husband and I were called to minister at Forest Home Family Camp that summer. He would be the camp doctor and I would do the special music. At this point, my symptoms had subsided slightly, but the neurologist still gave me a tentative diagnosis of MS. Aside from memory block a few times that week, I was feeling quite well.

 

One afternoon I climbed up my favorite rock to pray, but midway through the prayer I fell asleep. In my dream I was in a wheelchair, singing, with my hands raised in praise to God. When I awoke, I was at first troubled that I was in a wheelchair, then dumbfounded that I could be singing praises to God!

 

Before long I was enveloped in a deep peace of mind as I felt God’s presence saying, “In whatever condition you are, I will use you.”

 

Those words would prove to be extremely comforting in the years to come.

 

Twenty- three years later, I am in a wheelchair most of the time and I have found that Christ’s strength is sufficient to see me through any situation He has challenged me with. (II Cor. 12:9). I co-produced one CD and performed on another. I was asked to be the special music and speaker for CASA Senior Conference in Murrieta Springs the fall of 2004 and I now co-lead worship for our church’s Tuesday Morning Bible Study.

 

In our Psalms of Ascent study, we have learned that to be “up” is “down.” I Peter 5:6 relates that if we humble ourselves before God He will lift us up in due time. Yes, it troubles some pastors and music ministers that I can’t “stand” and sing. Somehow, they are worried that I won’t have enough breath support. Ironically, the voice has never been stronger.

 

I have fallen more in love with my Savior than I ever thought possible because He has proved so very faithful. My prayer is that more and more churches will realize that possibly the least desirable-looking servant can minister the greatest. Doesn’t God use the foolish to confound the wise?

 

Our Tuesday morning worship team often sings a beautiful praise song by Lenny LeBlanc and Greg Gulley entitled “No Higher Calling.” It is my prayer song: “Down at Your feet, O Lord, is the most high place; In Your presence, Lord, we seek Your face. There is no higher calling, no greater honor than to bow and kneel before Your throne. I’m amazed at Your glory, embraced by Your mercy. O Lord, I live to worship You.”

 

Lynn has had MS for 23 years, but still sings and leads worship at her church in Fullerton, CA. With the help of a supportive husband and physical trainer, she manages to keep up a large home and even, tend to 4 grandkids and even ride horseback from time to time. Truly, God is very faithful.

 

Freda Shares the Journey of Losing a Child

When a woman shared her recent griefs in the FibroSplash group, Freda reached out and shared her own story. I am constantly amazed how God has sent us volunteers and participants who have truly “walked the walk” and are using the lessons they’ve learned through it with others. This is ministry . . . and it has nothing to do with programs – it’s just people with the love of the Lord.

============================
By Freda

Yes, there is solace in shared grief and I am glad that you have been so comforted by those of similar loss. Perhaps the cruelest words offered to those grieving are the well meaning and intentioned ones, “I know how you must feel!” Truly no one but the Lord does! Even those of us who have walked through and past the death of a cherished child only truly know our own pain and sorrow; but, we can offer love, understanding, and a sharing of pain with others who have been or are going through this.

Walking through the steps of our grief is so very difficult but, “Praise the Lord, “we do need not walk it on our own! He is there every step of the way–behind us to keep us looking towards Him, in front of us to show us the blessed hope of reunion with those who loved Him and have gone before, and along side us to support, to direct our path and to encourage us to share our hope with others.

After a car pedestrian accident our “almost-four-Mommy!” girl entered into the presence of the Lord. Too young to have rejected God’s gift of salvation which is available only through the blood of Jesus Christ, our Suzie has been with the Lord Jesus Christ whom she loved since 1976 and I know the courts of heaven rang when she was ushered in, hugged Jesus and looked for her beloved “Nana” who had entered the Lord’s presence 11 months before (to the day) of the previous year.

As these years have passed I have often thought of the greetings that other loved ones have received as they entered glory. Knowing our Suzie, I think it is a safe assumption that she is right behind the Lord waiting for a hug and a “Why did you take so lonnnnng!”

Like all of us, I struggled through many of the elements of grief but the scripture which says that we do not mourn as those without the blessed hope do was my main stay. Without that hope, indeed, we are the most miserable of all! The one stage of grief which was the most difficult for me was the anger!

Surprisingly enough, the anger towards the alcohol-happy but not intoxicated driver was the first to dissipate; after all, she had a life time of regret and guilt which only coming to Christ would heal. Anger at the teenager who told Suzie that she could get across the street fast enough, took a little longer; anger at my husband for not putting up the fence so the girls and neighbors could play safely in our yard also took a while.

But. . . the anger which really sat more deeply than the others could never surface. It grew and grew becoming bitterness and judgments directed at any of His own who I perceived were not walking in the light of the scriptures which they had received!

Oh that self righteousness can really mess up one’s life! And it certainly did mine! While I was busy about the Lord’s work, it was a busyness of the flesh; satisfying but no eternal rewards! Thank the Lord, He did and does care enough to intervene! My first jolt of sinful recognition came when I realized that I was angry that Susan’s death was not producing a revival anywhere! Not even in my family.

There had been two other children who had died within the same year as our dear daughter, and the stories of people coming to Christ for salvation were abundant. Yet, Susan’s death seemed to have no purpose other than the negative. I continued to brood inwardly while keeping up an effective smile and “stimulating conversations!”

Yet, all through this, as it has been through all of my life I continued to seek after the Lord, wanting a relationship which would exceed what I had. I am so grateful that He, indeed, knows my heart. Even when it is covered in the muck I walk in, He can pick me up from the miry clay and set my feet onto the high places IN HIM!

Long story short (when it is ever?) the Lord finally got through that my anger was directed at Him and at Him alone……and I was astonished and ashamed at my audacity! Here was this worm, telling All Mighty God that He did not do enough–the One who has done everything. The One who loved us so much to provide for our entrance into eternity with Him! The One whose face should be the first I would look for in heaven. I had been planning on looking for Susan–perverse creature that I am!

Because of my past disobedience and venture into what is euphemistically called “new age”–really just the ancients coming back again– I have always been leery of “experiences.” Since the enemy can come as a creature of Light (he was actually once the most gloriously beautiful angel in heaven), But the Lord did take me through an experience around one of His scriptures while I prayed with a woman who dearly loved Him.

As I prayed I was first trying to toss what she was saying into the stalls of the ladies at the meeting; however, I suddenly became aware that I was in a great darkness ( yes, my eyes were closed but even then, there is usually some light, eh?) Not only was there darkness, but I was stuck in it and covered with awful slimy, sticky guck that would not rub off no matter how I slothed it off. I remember crying out about the darkness and asking Doris to help me get out.

She simply said, “Look for the Lord! Let Him show you what you are looking at. She did not interpret; she did not add; she did not intervene!

As I looked through the darkness I saw a far away light that I could not reach because I was held down by the muck. Then I realized that the muck was my sin. I was wallowing in it and going deeper and deeper because I had chosen to do so rather than reach out and let the Lord deal with my issues and let Him heal; [I needed to] accept His forgiveness through Jesus’ blood!

As I think back, I realize that this is probably the first time that I have seen sin as it is seen by the Lord. Having come to him at the age of nine, my concept of sin centered upon a child’s understanding of disobedience which separated me from parental approval. Now, as an adult, I was privileged to see how truly filthy sin is in the eyes of a Holy, Righteous God–something I need to review and renew DAILY!

Verses from the Psalms came into my mind and with the scales of sin slothing off, with my robes being clothed in Christ’s righteousness, I praised the Lord for His forgiveness of my sins and especially for the forgiveness of the bitterness, anger and fear that had governed my life since Susan’s leaving.

Bitterness because God was not answering my perceived need for “retribution,” anger because my child was gone and I had an emptiness that I would not let be filled and fear, that God would take still another of my loved ones to His purposes.

The muck lost its hold, the light grew brighter and brighter and lifted me up and out–clean, whole and renewed in spirit! The first time after Susie’s going that I took communion was an emotional time because it fully hit me that BECAUSE OF JESUS, she and I too will live.

Now communion is a reminder not only of the life, but of the need to keep things right between the Father and me–to keep short accounts with God so that the communion between us is free and my availability for service is unhindered!

I trust that each day, as you are walking in His light, that you too will seek His face and His purpose which gives the only true meaning to our journey and to our witness for Him.

——————

We used to sing this old chorus. Anyone remember it?

There is joy in following Jesus, every moment of the day.
There is joy in following Jesus, every step along life’s weary way.
Oh, I’ll follow wherever He leads me over land and air and sea
There’s joy in following Jesus through to eternity!

(Probably messed up a few lines…..my forgetter is better than my remembered these days!)

 

Little Do We Know What God Has Planned

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,” (Jeremiah 29:11) 

One of my favorite movie lines is from a John Wayne movie. Naturally, being a guy, it would be.) In “The Alamo” Wayne quotes a parson when he says “Little do we mortals know.”  When we suffer from chronic illness and pain, we often feel as if our lives no longer have any value.  In that fear and pain distorted “wisdom,” we think we can see our future so clearly.

And, for me, that is the way it was in January of 2007.  My days were spent lying on the floor of my bedroom, in my parent’s house.  I had lost my job, my life, and now had to deal with the results of several surgeries for a severe back injury. I asked myself, “How can God use me in the shape I am in?” But, God was moving in my life in ways that, even now, are hard to comprehend.

My mother was diagnosed with lymphoma in late February of 2007.  Not only was I laid up, but my mother was ill as well.  One day in late March, she could no longer hold food on her stomach. We had to rush her to the hospital.  But, what could I do?  I had been flat on my back for months. Every time I tried to get up, I was in agony.  All the way, driving to the hospital that night, I kept praying, “God, give me strength to do this.”  All during this period, I had been exercising to strengthen my back.  But, most of time, I had little success in controlling the pain.

But, as March moved into April and my mother was still hospitalized, my back became stronger.  I could stand for longer periods without pain.  I still could not walk long distances.  But, all I had to do was make it up to my mother’s hospital room.  I stayed up with her from 7PM to 7AM, every night.  My dad took the day shift.

After numerous stays in the hospital, my mother came home about mid-June.  But, she still could not eat. She had to be fed intravenously, and needed care around the clock.  So, there I was, all last summer, doing a twelve-hour shift taking care of my mother at night.  Just three months earlier, I could barely get up off the floor.  In between taking care of her, I was able to do laundry and dishes. My father worked on the hospital bills, and watched her by day.

We lost my mother on October 7th.  Through all of the stress, all the pain of watching her in pain, and countless hours on my feet, God worked a miracle in three lives.  He took this battered and broken body, and raised me off the floor to live again.  In the process, he blessed my parents by giving them support that they desperately needed in one of their darkest hours.

God also used my mother’s incredible strength of faith to strengthen my faith.  In all of those terrible months that she was ill, she was never cross, never complained, and was always gracious to the nurses and doctors!  Watching the way this woman of God bore up under that terrible, devastating disease made me ashamed of the way I had dealt with my own illness.

These days, I take care of my father and the house in general.  I still have some pain.  But, God has given me a strength, a peace, and a purpose for living that I have not had in 44 years!  Recently, my dad broke his shoulder tripping over some chairs.  I “picked” him up off of the floor, and put him in one of the chairs.  At the hospital, they put him in a sling and sent him home with me.  How little did I know.

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Bill Shamblin suffers from degenerative disc disease, and severe neuropathy from three back surgeries. He lives with his parents in East Tennessee and has been out of work for three years. Sometimes, the greatest test of faith is waiting on God’s timing, not our own.