Poll - What do you and your spouse do for fun?

We recently received this question and think many of you can relate!

“My husband and I have a terrible time coming up with things to do together. We are pretty much homebodies by choice. I have so many physical limitations with pain and chemical sensitivities it is hard. Plus even when I was healthy my husband didn’t want to go do much. I have lots of food problems and can’t even eat out. We watch movies together, cable T.V., cook together, cook for the kids when they have time (they are grown), and go to church together.( Although I have been unable to attend church for the last year and a half due to a new building and can now only go 30 minutes a couple of times a month). I don’t want to bore you with more details but I am sure others have similar troubles.

We are fresh out of ideas. We need fun things to do for couples where one person has lots of limitations and limited money for entertainment. I can’t take long rides in the car anymore and I walk every day but my husband is on his feet a lot at work so he really doesn’t want to do that. So we are out of new ideas. Thanks for listening and maybe something or some suggestions will come out of this question that would help lots of other couples too. Got to keep these marriages strong. Thank you for all you do and God Bless You! Regards, Sarah”

So, what do YOU and your spouse do together just for fun? List a few ideas (we have categories: free, under $25, and $25-$50)

Tell us!

 

Poll Responses - Do You Know Dr’s Faith?

Last week we asked you…”Do you know your doctor’s beliefs? If yes, how?”

Out of 20 of you who responded

17 of you answered that you did believe that your doctor was a Christian.

When we asked “how did you know?”

• 7 of you said your doctor “flat out told you.” (Wow!)
• 6 doctors “hinted at it.”
• 3 had “items in the waiting room or office make me think so”
• 8 said, “someone else told me”
• 2 reported “I’ve seen him/her speak at religious events”
• 2 knew the church membership of the physician
• 2 asked

Here are some of your responses…

Don shares, “Having a doctor who is a believer is critical to me. A chronic illness is difficult enough and I need to get vital counsel from someone who aligns with my faith rather than maligns it. There were times when he recognized his limitations, but together we trusted the Lord.”

Lisa says, “I have a now 8-year-old who was born with spina bifida. We found out when I was 7 months pregnant. Even though the actual OB was going to do the C-section, my midwife (who doctored me through that whole pregnancy and the subsequent one) came to the hospital on her day off anyway. She prayed with my husband and I before I went in to surgery, staying with me during surgery, and continued to pray for Emily that day. I will never forget it because my family and my pastor had to leave at the door, but she could go with us all the way to surgery and was with me and prayed with us right before my surgery started a whole series of nerve-wracking events that day. Emily was born without incident and doing much better than the doctors ever dreamed and had her own surgery that day. Non-medical care sometimes does as much for the soul as medical care does for the body. We are so grateful…”

Kimberly says, “I am so blessed to have a Christian primary care doctor. And even more blessed that he has a nurse practitioner who is a beautiful Christian woman. I see her most of the time now. On more than one occasion both my doctor and his nurse have laid hands on me and prayed. Once before a surgery. Another time when I went into the office emotionally distraught. It is so good to know that they now that they are not God.”

 

Poll - Do You Know Your Doctor’s Faith?

A new survey of 1,144 doctors, published in the Archives of Internal Medicine asked doctors about their own religious beliefs. 54 percent said they think God sometimes intervenes to help patients, 28 percent
do not and 18 percent are agnostic.

Do you know your doctor’s beliefs? If yes, how? We want to hear from you!

>Click here to take the 30-second survey

 

Poll Responses - Experience at Public Park

Last week we asked you…”What’s been your best or worst experience at an amusement park, ball game, etc. in regard to your illness or disability? What happened, what was your response, and would you do anything differently now?”

Kate shared a great experience at Disneyland:

My best experience is definitely this past December, when I was able to take my daughter Mckayla, who was just shy of 3 1/2 at the time, to Disneyland for the first time! Oh how I wondered and worried about having enough energy, and what my body would do being on the go for so long. Thankfully we had a wonderful time, we went two times about a week and a half apart, and I didn’t get too tired or sick! God is amazing and I am overjoyed that He gave me this special time with my family, and especially for Mckayla. Now when she sees commercials for Disneyland she says “Mommy, maybe we can go there again someday”, and I love saying “yes love, we will go again soon.” It’s amazing to be able to give her such a fun experience, especially since we don’t get out on a regular basis.

Sharon had a less than pleasant experience at the fair:

This was some years ago now, at the fair. They have lots nearer the entrances and farther from them - I was in a lane to go to one of the nearer lots and was redirected to the farther ones. When I explained that I needed to park in a nearer lot in order to be able to walk to an entrance gate, the man directing traffic said he was not willing to let me go back there. So I asked the way to the exit. While driving slowly towards the exit, two men ran in front of my car and waved me down.

When I explained that I was leaving the fair (and why), they got upset and claimed I was speeding dangerously and could have killed someone. (I was going about 10 mph at the time.) I said I was heading for the exit and if they didn’t get out of the way I would report them to the police who were directing traffic. After much shouting, they finally got out of the way. I mentioned it to the policeman on the way out and he suggested writing the fair organizers. Because of the way South Carolina law is written, I don’t qualify for a handicap plate or placard, so I thought leaving was better than fighting - obviously I got a fight I didn’t want by trying to leave.

You can still answer our survey! And all the past surveys too! It helps us a lot as we use your comments, suggestions, etc to write articles, educate churches, etc.

> View Past Surveys

 

Poll Responses - Retreat Planning

Thanks to the 15 people who responded to last week’s survey. We asked, “Share your dream retreat? What should retreat planners know about people with illness? Do you attend retreats more or less often since your diagnoses?”

Congratulations to Mitzi R. who is this week’s winner. We will send your prize right out.

• 73% of you said you attend retreats LESS often SPECIFICALLY because of your illness.
• Almost 7% attend more retreats since being diagnosed with an illness

Some of your responses include:

What should retreat planners be aware of?
Carol shares, “I was part of the staff that plans many of the retreats in my area before I started having health problems. I am still working as staff, however, there are times I have to step aside and not do everything that I used to do. I have learned that I have to not be in charge of anything so that I am able to stop if I am in too much pain. Being part of the staff has allowed me to see the importance of having opportunities for other people with health problems to take down time and rest. I think that the most important thing is to always be flexible.”

Margaret says she doesn’t attend retreats anymore because…”people don’t want to understand and accept that sometimes I have to retreat from the ‘retreat’, ie, sometimes I have to go back to my room and just rest, but others decide that I’m escaping from my problems, and demand that I participate in whatever is happening…I’m not wishing to be anti-social and will participate when God enables me to do so, but at the same time when God tells me to rest I must rest despite what the ‘timetable’ states.”

Melody shared with us her DREAM retreat!

• Comfortable chairs in meeting room
• Retreats closer to my home - live in a small town and usually have to go pretty far to retreats
• Massage Therapists, Hot Tubs, Doctors on Call, Drugstores on Premises
• Menus you can order off of instead of having just the food they give you
• My own bed and not share with someone else because I won’t be able to sleep
  Motorized scooters to move around on the grounds
• The Holy Spirit would Always Show Up and Always have a Special Word or Touch for each one of us and a Healing would be nice, too
• Lots of Prizes - Hawaii vacations - hey you said we could dream

 

Poll - Experience at a Public Park

Lisa recently discovered a local attraction that moved their easy-access monorail to another side of the park. It required 2 hikes on each end of different “golf cart” rides, plus long waits for the shuttles and not enough benches (Yes, she’s writing them a letter!) Out of about 5 people who worked at the park, no one had the correct information.

What’s been your best or worst experience at an amusement park, ball game, etc. in regard to your illness or disability? What happened, what was your response, and would you do anything differently now?

> Answer

 

Responses (More) About Weight Loss Tips

The last two weeks we asked the same poll question and still just had 4 responses: Have you found a weight loss program that has worked for you despite having a chronic illness and perhaps being on “weight-gaining” medications? Will you share your story and tips with us?

So we’re assuming their are some frustrated people out there who have not found that weight loss program that works, despite medication. Out of the 4 responses, 2 said they’d not discovered a weight loss secret.

Pat says, “I have really cut back on carbs, trying to stay around 20-30. I have lost 45 pounds. I also have found that if I don’t diet on Sundays, not pigging out but having some ice cream or something special that I do better than never allowing treats.”

 

Sabine gave us a great description of what has worked for her. We’re including all her comment, starting below and then read the rest on our blog. Sabine, we’ll be sending you a free book for taking the time to answer our survey!

“I have had to watch my weight since I was 15 years old and have tried many different diets and ways of eating. I am almost 53 years old now and my BMI is at the upper limit of normal. I am once again doing the one thing that has helped me lose/maintain my weight in the past. Counting calories.

Every time I have stopped counting calories to try some other method of keeping my weight down, I have gained weight. I know this is a discipline I will probably…”

> read more on the blog

 

Poll - What Can Retreat Planners Do So You Can Attend?

This is for both men and women! What could the “retreat planners” do at your church to help make it easier for you to attend and enjoy yourself?

We know that a lot of retreats are impossible or difficult to attend. Long hillside walks, hard metal folding chairs, beds that feel like boards. What do you do to be able to go and what could the planners do to make it more accessible?

We will be writing an article for retreat planners including your ideas. And we will also be sharing it with Jennifer Rothschild’s ministry who recently had someone ask about including people in retreats with illness.

> Answer

 

Responses of Sharing Weight Loss Tips

Sabine shares…

I have had to watch my weight since I was 15 years old and have tried many different diets and ways of eating. I am almost 53 years old now and my BMI is at the upper limit of normal. I am once again doing the one thing that has helped me lose/maintain my weight in the past. Counting calories.

Every time I have stopped counting calories to try some other method of keeping my weight down, I have gained weight. I know this is a discipline I will probably have to continue for life.

The wonderful thing about counting calories is that it removes the mystery of weight gain. For example, since I know what my maintenance range is (from counting calories for a long time), I knew that the weight gain I experienced while taking amitriptyline was caused by a change in metabolism rather than a change in my appetite. So I stopped taking amitriptyline.

On the other hand, when I gained weight taking Neurontin, I discovered easily that it was because I had developed a monstrous case of the Munchies. I knew this because I tracked the amount of calories I was eating even though I knew I was eating way too much. Now that I’ve reduced the amount of calories, I am losing the weight I gained. The Munchies are still there, but I am not giving in to them (most days anyway!).

I keep track of my calories on one single sheet for the whole week, as I learned to do while I was a member of TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly). Most days I eat many of the same foods, so I just need to make an arrow to the next day.

I have memorized the calories in many, many foods and can estimate most things pretty accurately. I do use a scale for things like nuts and a measuring spoon for sugar, for example.

When I need to travel, I take along pre-measured packets of snacky foods like almonds and pretzels rather than buying candy bars and chips at the stores (although I do buy some of those as well, and count the calories).

I have post-prandial hypoglycemia, among several other disorders and illnesses, so I do need to eat in a healthy, balanced way. However, there is no food that is forbidden to me. I just need to budget my calories and decide if it’s worth it. Drinking a lot of water and eating loads of veggies are the key to keeping comfortably full. Currently, I have a baggie of rutabaga strips in a zip-lok baggie in the fridge. I’ll grab a handful to munch on a few times throughout the day. Yellow peppers are a nice, sweet, low-calorie snack, too, if you can afford them.

Any weight-loss effort requires self-discipline, and counting calories is no different. I know that many people don’t like to count calories. For me, it works and it relieves the anxiety and frustration of not knowing *why* I am gaining weight. I know why, when I have counted calories. I also know if a weight gain is caused by an actual change in metabolism, such as the weight gain I experienced from the amitrityline. Fortunately, I was able to stop taking it. I know that many people need to take drugs that make them gain weight in spite of eating very few calories. My heart goes out to them.

 

Responses of “How do You Feel When Celebrities ‘Beat’ Their Illness?”

We had 21 people respond to our question last week, “When you read that celebrities ‘beat their illness’ how do you feel? Inspired or disheartened?” You can still respond here!

Last week’s winner for a free book is Kim R at email raleymike…. We’ll ship it right out!

We loved your honest comments! (And could relate to them too!) Here are a few (in different colors).

“When you read that celebrities ‘beat their illness’ how do you feel? Inspired or disheartened?”

I feel annoyed. What that seems to indicate to me, when folks say that, is that everyone with an illness has a ‘choice’ to beat the problem, or be beaten by it.

I can choose how I’m going to respond to the feelings I have about my illness/disability, but I probably had no choice in my body getting the illness or disability. I also probably have little choice with whether my body will ever totally overcome the problem in this lifetime.

Why someone heals and others don’t, has been and still is, beyond the knowledge of mankind. Only God knows. What I do know is I can choose how I live with what I have.

If healing comes, I’ll praise God. If it doesn’t, I hope I continue to praise God. But when I hear people say, with such ‘pride’ that they ‘beat’ an illness, it seems to insinuate others are doing something ‘wrong’ if they don’t ‘beat’ theirs. And I should ‘listen up’ to find out what secret they did, so I can get it ‘right’ and ‘beat’ my problem.

I don’t believe that for a minute anymore, though I used to.

Okay, confession time. I feel incredibly angry. Part of it is that I am sceptical that they never had the “full blown” illness and part of it is just plain anger that what worked for them has not touched my pain. I want to say “I am taking 150mg of morphine a day and still hurt so shut up” WOW I can’t believe I really said that. These commercials seem to evoke negitive emotions that I don’t usually feel. I much prefer turniing off the TV and getting on with my life.

Disheartened because every time someone else “beats” their illness, it reinforces the belief that my illnesses are really fake and if I just did whatever (whoever) did, then I would “beat” mine too. This is particularly bad with my husband, who doesn’t believe my illnesses are real to begin with. He constantly tests me, trying to see me slip up and show that I’m faking it. I’m not faking anything.

We’d love to feature some of these comments on our newsletter blog page, but need some help with posting them. Anyone want to volunteer for this? Let us know!