“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,” (Jeremiah 29:11)
One of my favorite movie lines is from a John Wayne movie. Naturally, being a guy, it would be.) In “The Alamo” Wayne quotes a parson when he says “Little do we mortals know.” When we suffer from chronic illness and pain, we often feel as if our lives no longer have any value. In that fear and pain distorted “wisdom,” we think we can see our future so clearly.
And, for me, that is the way it was in January of 2007. My days were spent lying on the floor of my bedroom, in my parent’s house. I had lost my job, my life, and now had to deal with the results of several surgeries for a severe back injury. I asked myself, “How can God use me in the shape I am in?” But, God was moving in my life in ways that, even now, are hard to comprehend.
My mother was diagnosed with lymphoma in late February of 2007. Not only was I laid up, but my mother was ill as well. One day in late March, she could no longer hold food on her stomach. We had to rush her to the hospital. But, what could I do? I had been flat on my back for months. Every time I tried to get up, I was in agony. All the way, driving to the hospital that night, I kept praying, “God, give me strength to do this.” All during this period, I had been exercising to strengthen my back. But, most of time, I had little success in controlling the pain.
But, as March moved into April and my mother was still hospitalized, my back became stronger. I could stand for longer periods without pain. I still could not walk long distances. But, all I had to do was make it up to my mother’s hospital room. I stayed up with her from 7PM to 7AM, every night. My dad took the day shift.
After numerous stays in the hospital, my mother came home about mid-June. But, she still could not eat. She had to be fed intravenously, and needed care around the clock. So, there I was, all last summer, doing a twelve-hour shift taking care of my mother at night. Just three months earlier, I could barely get up off the floor. In between taking care of her, I was able to do laundry and dishes. My father worked on the hospital bills, and watched her by day.
We lost my mother on October 7th. Through all of the stress, all the pain of watching her in pain, and countless hours on my feet, God worked a miracle in three lives. He took this battered and broken body, and raised me off the floor to live again. In the process, he blessed my parents by giving them support that they desperately needed in one of their darkest hours.
God also used my mother’s incredible strength of faith to strengthen my faith. In all of those terrible months that she was ill, she was never cross, never complained, and was always gracious to the nurses and doctors! Watching the way this woman of God bore up under that terrible, devastating disease made me ashamed of the way I had dealt with my own illness.
These days, I take care of my father and the house in general. I still have some pain. But, God has given me a strength, a peace, and a purpose for living that I have not had in 44 years! Recently, my dad broke his shoulder tripping over some chairs. I “picked” him up off of the floor, and put him in one of the chairs. At the hospital, they put him in a sling and sent him home with me. How little did I know.
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Bill Shamblin suffers from degenerative disc disease, and severe neuropathy from three back surgeries. He lives with his parents in East Tennessee and has been out of work for three years. Sometimes, the greatest test of faith is waiting on God’s timing, not our own.
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